ایک لطیفہ

ایک فوجی لنڈے بازار میں جاتا ہے. وہاں ایک جرنل کی وردی لٹکی ہوتی ہے. 

فوجی: یہ وردی کتنے کی ہے؟ 

پٹھان: ١٠٠ روپے کی 

فوجی: کم کرو، ١٠٠ روپے بہت زیادہ ہیں. پٹھان کم کرتے کرتے ٨٠ (اسی) روپے پے آ جاتا ہے. 

فوجی جب اپنی جیب دیکھتا ہے تو صرف پچھتر (٧٥) روپے ہوتے ہیں. وو پٹھان کو پانچ روپے اور کم کرنے ک لیے کہتا ہے مگر پٹھان نہیں مانتا. آخر کار وہ اپنے گھر واپس آ جاتا ہے. 

کچھ دن بعد وو ایک دوسرےفوجی کے گھر جاتا ہے تو وہاں وہ وردی لٹکی ہوتی ہے. 

فوجی: یار یہ وردی کس کی ہے؟

دوسرا فوجی: سینہ تان کر! میرا ماما جرنیل سی، اے او دی وردی آ.....

پہلا فوجی: پتر میرے کول پنج (پانچ) رپیے نئ سی. نئ تے اے اج میرا ماما ہوندا!!!!! 

Israel Finds the Ammunition—in Hawaii

In its 1973 Yom Kippur war against Egypt and Syria, Israel sustained heavy losses in weapons of all kinds, especially tanks. It looked to the United States for the quickest possible resupply. Henry Kissinger was their avenue. Richard Nixon was entangled in the Watergate controversy and would soon leave the presidency, but under his authority the government agreed to deliver substantial quantities of tanks to Israel. Tanks were to be taken from the inventory of U.S. military units on active duty, reserve units, even straight off production lines.


Nothing was held back in the effort to bring Israel's forces back to its desired strength as quickly as possible.
Israel wanted only the latest-model tanks, which were equipped with 105-millimeter guns. But a sufficient number could not be found even by stripping U.S. forces. The Pentagon met the problem by filling part of the order with an earlier model fitted with 90-millimeter guns. When these arrived, the Israelis grumbled about having to take "second-hand junk." Then they discovered they had no ammunition of the right size and sent an urgent appeal for a supply of 90-millimeter rounds.


The Pentagon made a search and found none. Thomas Pianka, an officer then serving at the Pentagon with the International Security Agency, recalled: "We made an honest effort to find the ammunition. We checked everywhere. We checked through all the services—Army, Navy, Marines. We couldn't find any 90-millimeter ammunition at all." Pianka said the Pentagon sent Israel the bad news: "In so many words, we said, 'Sorry, we don't have any of the ammunition you need. We've combed all depots and warehouses, and we simply have none.'"


A few days later the Israelis came back with a surprising message: "Yes, you do. There are 15,000 rounds in the Marine Corps supply depot in Hawaii." Pianka recalled, "We looked in Hawaii and, sure enough, there they were. The Israelis had found a U.S. supply of 90-millimeter ammunition we couldn't find ourselves."


Richard Helms, director of the CIA during the 1967 Arab-Israeli war, recalled an occasion when an Israeli arms request had been filled with the wrong items.3 Israeli officials resubmitted the request complete with all the supposedly top-secret code numbers and a note to Helms that said the Pentagon perhaps had not understood exactly which items were needed. "It was a way for them to show me that they knew exactly
what they wanted," Helms said. Helms believed that during this period no important secret was kept from Israel.


Excerpt from the book: They to Dare Speak Out by Paul Findley

Warning: Extremely graphic content – Afghan Army Brutally Execute Pakistani Soldiers in Dir on 1st June 2011!

About 1,000 or more Afghan soldiers entered on May 19 in the Bajaur area at Sahi. And then again last night at Miskinai and Sangpura. Later on June 1, the  Afghan soldiers crossed the border from Afghanistan and raided the Shaltalu area of the district of Dir in northwestern Pakistan. This video shows the execution of more than a dozen Pakistani policemen and soldiers who were captured during the fighting. The  Afghan Army Commander gives a speech prior to executing the Pakistani men: 

Later on Pakistani govt tired to cover this fact and said that the attackers were Afghan Taliban but initially they were reported to be Afghan Army Soldiers!

Here is the link to News:

PAF in action against Kabul | Newspaper | DAWN.COM

Dos & Don'ts During Ramadan!

The Real KING KHAN!!!!!!!

Now I can guess why every politician is sooooo jealous of him!!!

How Recite Holy Quran WITHOUT Ablution (Wudhu)??? A Solution to Laziness!!!

Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) said:  “Whosoever recites Surah Yasin in the early part of the day his needs will be fulfilled.”  (Mishkaat, Page 189)  It is stated in Mirqaat, Sharah Mishkaat under the commentary of the above 
Hadith that ones worldly needs and the needs pertaining to the Deen and the Hereafter will be fulfilled.  (Mirqaat, Sharah Mishkaat, Vol. 4, Page 681)


In the same way there are other ahadith which state that whoever will recite Surah Waqia daily after maghrib prayer will never face poverty and Surah Mulk before going to sleep will be saved from punishment in grave. 


But the biggest problem is that we are too lazy to do this even. The main reason is that we have to perform ablution and prepare ourselves before we can recite this. So I have found a solution to this laziness. 

Now I have downloaded the scanned copy of Holy Quran (16 Lines/page) printed by Taj Company. This is the most widely used print by students who are doing hifz in Pakistan. So now you can recite Holy Quran on your computer/ laptop WITHOUT having to perform ablution (Wudhu).  (You don't touch it physically). It is PDF file. This Copy is specially meant for Hafiz people (like myself :) ) who can't read any copy other than that they used during Hifz.


You can download it from here. 


Common people can use any copy of Holy Quran that you like. But it must be from some trusted Islamic website and error free.

Social media can’t provide what social change has always required!!!

Imran Khan and his PTI is the biggest example of failure of online media (e.g facebook) in Pakistani political arena. He is undoubtedly the most popular ‘online’ leader of Pakistan, however his electoral success is no-where to be seen in near future. Probably due to unique nature of Pakistani politics where winning elections is a mission impossible if you don't own an armed militia and a lot of money with american backing.


Few days back I was watching a video conference of Dr. Ghulam Mujtaba, who was boasting of his 92000 (now 107000) followers on facebook and was claiming to be one of the most popular politicians in Pakistan. He predicted his success in next elections. As if these 92000 people who just bothered to click "like" button were his die hard real life followers, who were willing to sacrifice their lives for him. How could such an otherwise mature man think so stupid??? I could not understand. Any how I was thinking that how much effective facebook and twitter could be in online activism. 


Here is a very insightful article by The New Yorker! Read this
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2010/10/04/101004fa_fact_gladwell


I hope it will help our youth to rationalize their behaviour and do something positive rather than just wasting time online and thinking that they are doing great service to nation and coming generations.

The new Pakistani version of Ant and Grasshopper!

*Ant & Grasshopper - Traditional Version*


The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house

and laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant

is a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter,

the Ant is warm and well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or shelter

so he dies out in the cold.



*New Pakistani version*


The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house

and laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the

Ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away.





Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and

demands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed

while others are cold and starving.





Geo TV, BBC, ARY, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering

Grasshopper next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a

table filled with food. The World is stunned by the sharp contrast.





How can this be that this poor Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?





Asma Jahangir stages a demonstration in front of the Ant's house.



Imran Khan goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that

Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter. Joins

hands with Geo TV to raise funds for that purpose.



Amnesty International and Chief Justice Iftikhar criticizes the

Pakistan Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the

Grasshopper. Chaudhry takes a Suo moto action and issues a show cause

notice to all Ants association to appear before the court within a week's time.





The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the

Grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt

support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance) . Face book as

usual not interested in a Pakistani support site.



Opposition MPs stage a walkout on constitutional Avenue. Islamic

parties call for "Hartal" in Frontier and Baluchistan demanding a

Judicial Enquiry.





MQM Coalition in Sindh immediately passes a law preventing Ants from

working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty

among Ants and Grasshoppers. Altaf Hussain blames ANP and land Mafia

behind all the Chaos.





Railway minister allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all

Pakistan Railway Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Shalimar'.





Finally, the President drafts an ordinance ' Anti State Terrorism

Against Grasshoppers Act' [ASTAGA], with effect from the beginning of

the winter. Mobilizes state agencies.





Punjab Govt. makes ' Special Reservation ' for Grasshoppers in

Educational Institutions & in Government Services. Shahbaz Sharif

announces an immediate grant of 2 billion rupees for affected

grasshoppers and opens two new cheap Roti Tandoors in their locality.





Finally,



The Ant is fined for failing to comply with ASTAGA and having nothing

left to pay his retroactive taxes, it's home is confiscated by the NAB

and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by PTV.





Nawaz Sharief calls it ' A Triumph of Justice '.



Zardari calls it ' Democracy to be the best revenge '. and Adds

Pakistan Khappay in the end as usual!



MQM calls it the ' Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden'



Prime Minister Yousuf Raza Gilani invites the Grasshopper to address

the National Assembly.



Many years later...



The Ants have since migrated to the US , Canada , UK and Middle East,

have worked harder then they did before set up a multi-million dollar

business.





1000s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite all

reservation... somewhere in Pakistan ..



As a result of losing lot of hard working Ants and feeding the

Grasshoppers, Pakistan is still a developing country !!!